paige moss

Well here is a very personal and embracing story. I will tell the truth and be honest, so please no judgment. I do that enough for everyone. This is an edited story because it would be 100 pages long if I included everything.

This story starts about 5 years ago. I had been separated from my boyfriend, my series was over and I got some very bad advise. From a director and an agent. I was told that getting a boob job would help my career. That I could be perceived as older, be sexier, and go out for a different type of role. I am not placing blame on them, I take responsibility for my actions 100%. The idea that I could do something to get more work, being seriously as an older actor, be considered for more parts appealed to me. So I took the leap and I got Breast Implants.

I knew the day I went into the doctors office for surgery it was the wrong thing to do. I could feel it in my bones. But as I do so often I didn’t listen to my gut and I went forward with the procedure. The first of 5 surgeries to come. The first surgery the doctor decide to make his own decision about what size they should be. Appartently they have that kind of power when you sign on the dotted line. He almost doubled what I asked for, because as he put it most girls are unhappy and come back wanting them bigger. I was an A trying to go to a small C. When I woke up I was much bigger than a C. After trying to live with it, I couldn’t so I went back in and had them taken out and smaller ones put in.

I still just didn’t feel right. My body didn’t like them, It rejected them as did my mind. The right breast capsular contractor. Feeling so unhappy and vulnerable I should have had them removed and gotten my life back but I didn’t. So I went to a new doctor and he changed them from saline to silicon. The idea was that they would feel more real and I would mentally feel different about them. I could get my head around that and thought I had come this far so yes lets do it.

The third surgery went fine. But still they never suited me I still thought they were too big. I couldn’t dress my self. I had always been hip and edgy, and suddenly I was sexy and I just didn’t know how to act. I didn’t feel right in my own skin. I started putting on weight. I was not booking acting jobs because I had lost all of my confidence in the room. My boyfriend came back and we were now engaged. He was supportive of any choice I made. Then it happened again, right before my wedding the right breast capsular contractured again. So not know what I would look like if I took them out, I went under the knife again. The surgery was on the right breast, number 4 went fine and was fixed. I looked beautiful at the wedding despite the fact that I hated the implants.

As more time past, I just was not myself not booking jobs because I wasn’t my self. I wasn’t me. I felt like I couldn’t dress myself nothing fit. I put on weight in a way to hide myself. To shield my body from the public. Well It happened again and the right side of my breast capsular contractured. So I had had it I had the implants removed.

Surgery number 5! Glory Glory hallilula! I am happier than I have been in years. I am me! Back to normal and through a horrible time in my life. If you know anyone thinking about implants I would be happy to talk to them. They are right for some people and the make some people happy, I just wasn’t one of them. I am a hippy at heart and I let the pressure of Hollywood tell me that I wasn’t good enough. I caved, I was weak and stopped believing in my self. I am a strong independent woman and always have been. My advice to women, love who you are no matter what, love your flaws they make you special. Be an individual don’t buy the magazines.

We will see how Hollywood reacts to the new me. I hope it opens its doors and lets me back in. It has been hard putting on weight and trying to get jobs. Hopefully that will change with those damn implants out of my body I feel like a whole person again, I hope casting will see that and hire me, give me the chance to be what I am. A strong, confident, unique individual brimming with talent.